Dating a girl that travels

14 Feb Dating a girl that travels

Let light into your life – aurora borealis, Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada

Today is Valentine’s Day. Now, I don’t succumb to typical traditions of this day for a number of reasons:

• I am single;
• I refuse to partake in the commercial nonsense of buying gifts, chocolates, roses and cards for this “Hallmark” Day when everything is at an inflated price;
• If I was in a relationship, I think you should tell that person you love them and give them little surprises (that they would like, not what movies tell you they will like!) often, not just on this single day of the year!

However, it is hard to avoid the “Happy Valentine’s Day” greetings and I actually don’t mind giving out the free hugs to go along with it because it makes people smile and feel good about themselves – so why not? 🙂

I have to be honest. Being single on a day like today is not all rainbows and butterflies either. In my job on the cruise ship I host dinners with the guests. At almost every dinner the conversation will turn to my personal life – “Are you married?”, “Do you have children?”, “Don’t you miss being at home?”. My answer to all three questions is “No”…..which then leads to the “But why not?”. Now, I am personally not sad that I’m not married or don’t have children. And I don’t really suffer from homesickness like the average person. But when people question you, you can’t help but have a small part of you start to question yourself. I don’t like feeling that way, but it happens. It’s human nature. I know most people are uncomfortable with really assessing oneself, but I personally think it’s a great thing to do – to get to know yourself better and be comfortable with the person you are and not to doubt yourself because you don’t match anyone else’s expectations.

Ruled by the sun & the sea – an Island Girl I will always be 🙂

A year ago today, I posted a link on my FaceBook page to an article entitled “Don’t date a girl who travels”. There were so many parts of that article that resonated with me. In particular these lines are exactly me, and anyone who has met me will recognise these traits in me instantly:

• She’s the one with the messy unkempt hair;
• Her skin…burnt with multiple tan lines, wounds and bites here and there…for every flaw…she has an interesting story to tell;
• The usual dinner movie date…will suck the life out of her;
• She will be unimpressed with your new car and…expensive watch;
• She will bug you to book a flight every time there’s an airline seat sale;
• She doesn’t have a…permanent address;
• Her days are ruled by the sun…;
• When the waves are calling, life stops and she will be oblivious to everything…for a moment;
• She takes what life has to offer;
• She knows respect;
• She talks to strangers;
• She will meet many interesting, like-minded people from around the world.

Reading over the article again today, there are also many lines which still strike a chord with me but I think people are misunderstanding what they mean to me:

• She has chosen a life of uncertainty

Just another day in the office – Milford Sound zodiac tours

I know my lifestyle seems “uncertain” to most – and in comparison to the majority of people, it indeed seems that way. But that is only because I don’t have a Monday to Friday 9-5 routine existence. I know exactly when my next pay check is coming. In fact, I know my work schedule well into 2020, and if I wanted I could also have it confirmed up to 2021/22. The uncertain part of my life is when I travel in between my work contracts and not in terms of organisation, but uncertain in terms of what amazing thing will happen that day and the next. My time off from work is when I can go with the flow and follow my heart. People label me as a “free spirit” because of this “uncertain” lifestyle. And whilst I agree I am free, I think people also think it means I lack a sense of responsibility, commitment and reliability. But that is completely contrary to the person I am.

• She dances to the beat of her own drum;

Sure, I like to do my own thing, without really caring about what people think of me, but it doesn’t mean I’m not a team player. I thrive on working in a team that works well together. That sense of comradery is very meaningful for me. I prefer to think of this saying as we can all beat our own drum our way, but the important thing is if we can all sound good together – we can be a successful orchestra or a bunch of solo acts all competing for the lime light and fail.

• She will never need you;
• She is…independent;

I can change my own car tyre, I can pitch a tent in the dark by myself, I can travel the world solo….but this does not mean I wouldn’t want anyone by my side. I think the right partnership can be very fulfilling and empowering. But I do know I will not simply “settle”. Whoever walks by my side will make me a better version of myself, and that is what I am looking for. Someone who complements me.

• Her soul craves for new experiences and adventures;
• She will be bored with you;

Snow shoeing to the top of Crow Mountain, NWT, Canada

I am an experiential person. I like to feel, touch, taste, smell and hear all the elements of the world around me. So an experience could be as grand as climbing to the top of Everest or eating a new cheese I’ve never heard of! Anything I can do for the first time is an adventure for me, so it does not need to involve years of travel or lots of money to achieve this. I think this is the biggest misconception about me. Adventure doesn’t have to mean crazy and dangerous. It just has to be outside what I thought was the limit of my world today. I enjoy stepping outside of my comfort zone as I am only limited by my own fears and the unknown. So, as long as I am growing and learning, I will never be bored. I would only be bored if you thought you knew the answer to everything and there wasn’t anything new to try or questions to ask.

• Never date a girl who travels unless you can keep up with her…if you fall in love with one, don’t keep her. Let her go.

Whilst traveling gives me the freedom to be exactly the person I want to be, without any limitations, it doesn’t mean I have to do it to the extent I do it right now, forever. Where I am in life right now simply facilitates my current lifestyle today because I don’t have anything or anyone that stops me from doing so. But who knows what is around the corner. I definitely agree that I would not be interested in anyone who couldn’t keep up with my enthusiasm for living and experiencing the world around me. So if you can keep up, I would not say let me go. Because I know how hard it is to find someone who complements you, so I could adapt my current way of life to fit someone in. But they would have to do the same. If you find someone worth keeping in your life, then you should give them 100% – and that is for relationships and friendships.

Just a small representation of the GOOD people in my life XOX

On that note, that’s enough about me. I would like to take the time to thank all the people that have ever stepped into my life – the good and the bad – because all the experiences I have had up to this point have made me the person I am today. To all the good people who have helped me to laugh, forgive, explore, have fun and live life to the fullest – thank you especially for letting me be a part of your life and continuing to be a part of mine. I definitely would not be the person I am today without you and our experiences together! Thank you for making an impression on me. Make sure you know what is the right thing for you to give you the feeling that you are HAPPY & ALIVE, and go LIVE!

Much unconditional LOVE from this Little Island Girl xox